The Nurse's Station

My Reconciliation, Or My Obvious Truth

We need to talk. Be at my place at six or else.

The words ran through Elliot’s head on endless repeat as she sped her way to Jordan’s apartment. She hadn’t even bothered changing out of her scrubs, thinking that if there was any hope at all of salvaging their relationship that she better get there as damned fast as possible. She sprinted up the stairs, deciding the elevator would take too long. By the time she stood outside the door she was nervous again, so nervous that she barely managed to get the key in the lock and the door open.

“Sorry, I’m late; I didn’t even get a chance to read–” Elliot broke off at the sight in front of her. Jordan was lying on the couch, Perry on top of her, moaning and thrusting against her hand. Elliot turned on her heel and left, slamming the door behind her. She was at the elevator in seconds, frantically pushing the down button. She was vaguely aware of Jordan coming after, calling her name and silently prayed the elevator would come soon – she wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand up. But the doors binged open before Jordan reached her and she ran in, pushing the close button before she slid down the wall.

Jordan’s hand shot through the gap at the last second, forcing the doors to open. She stepped into the car saying, “We need to talk.”

Elliot shook her head wordlessly, burying herself in her arms. “Go away.” She felt the car start to go down, then jerk to a stop. She looked up, eyes wide with panic. “What just happened?”

Jordan sighed. “We need to talk,” she repeated, sitting opposite Elliot. “I figured this was the only way you’d listen to me.”

She shook her head, hiding her head in her arms again. “I hate you,” she muttered. “I should’ve listened to Carla, never gotten involved with you in the first place. She was right. Everyone was right.” Elliot looked up, light blue eyes locking with dark brown ones. “You are heartless.”

“I didn’t mean for you to see that,” Jordan said lamely, not denying the accusations. “I swear I didn’t. I thought you weren’t coming.” Her eyes turned to ice. “Why didn’t you come?”

Elliot laughed darkly. “I’m a doctor, remember? I have patients, and I don’t decide when they code. At least I don’t go running to my ex-husband whenever things get a little too real. I actually let myself have emotions. Remember those, or have you managed to forget them, too?”

Jordan glared at her. “No, you go to your ex-boyfriend, then flaunt it all over the fucking hospital. There isn’t a single person who doesn’t know you’re sleeping with DJ. Congratulations – you’ve managed to drag both our reputations through the mud. Oh, wait, what reputations? I’m already the heartless demon, as you so eloquently put it, and you’re the blond slut, sleeping with the nearest intern. Or attending’s ex-wife, apparently.”

Elliot stared at Jordan. “What are you talking about?” she snapped. “JD and I never slept together. Well, not recently. Not since you and I have been together.”

“Why even bother denying it, Barbie? You’re living together, for Christ’s sake. Come on, I know you can rub it in my face a little harder, make this hurt a little more,” Jordan replied sarcastically, slipping back to the nickname she hadn’t used in months.

“We’re sharing an apartment because Turk and Carla kicked him out and the roof of his place collapsed!” Elliot yelled. “He didn’t have anywhere else to go! JD and I haven’t had sex in years. Bet you can’t say the same for you and Dr. Cox. Oh, wait, that’s right – I just walked in on that one.” She turned away, trying to get herself together before she started crying.

“You really haven’t been having sex,” Jordan repeated, stunned.

Elliot shook her head angrily. “I care too much about you,” she said. “I want to be with you, not anyone else. I thought you might have even felt the same way, but apparently I’m just another booty call for when Perry’s busy.” Elliot spat his name out like a swear. “Hope you got some pleasure out of it before tossing me aside.” She locked eyes with Jordan again. “The least you could’ve done was tell me. Would that’ve really been too hard?”

“The only reason I slept with Perry was to get back at you for JD,” Jordan explained quietly. “I thought you wouldn’t care, or if you did you’d dump him and come back to me. Jesus, how could I have been so stupid?” She started crying again, barely aware tears were leaking down her cheeks. “Elliot, as much as it normally pains me to say this, I’m sorry. I’m really, truly sorry.”

Jordan looked up at her, catching her gaze and holding it. Elliot wasn’t sure she’d ever seen her look so beautiful, red-rimmed eyes and all. Maybe it was just she had never seen Jordan look so human before. Elliot ran a hand through her hair, pushing her bangs out of her face. “What are you going to do?” she asked eventually, not knowing what else to say.

Jordan sighed again. “Whatever you want me to do. I’ll leave Perry to be with you, or leave you alone and never talk to you again. I’m not horribly fond of that last one – it might hurt those feelings I don’t have, but I’d do it if you wanted me to.”

Elliot bit her lip. “I don’t want that, either,” she said softly. “I want you. But I don’t want to have to worry that you’re going to go back to Dr. Cox whenever things get the slightest bit difficult. I want to know you’re here for the long run, and not just for the sex.”

“I’m here,” Jordan said so quietly, Elliot could barely make it out. “If you really want me, I’m here. I can promise not to have sex with Perry anymore, but that’s it. I’m not the most stable of people, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“That makes two of us.” They smiled, both still looking like they were about to cry. The elevator suddenly jerked into motion and finished its decent to the first floor. Dr. Cox was standing outside the doors, looking concerned, along with the building’s super and a repairman.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“We’ll be fine,” Elliot said, taking Jordan’s hand and squeezing. “Or something.”

Next

My 40 Snapshots

by Nicole Merrill