My Silent Partner

Chapter Three: Forget Your Comfort Zone

Dan approached JD’s room slowly, trying to calm his rarely-lost temper. He had made his peace with Coxer a long time ago; now there was another one getting under his skin? He did have to admit wryly to himself that the blonde was at least better to look at while arguing; her smoothly delivered insults carrying a far more subtle quality then that of her ranting brother.

Dan shook his head to get the woman from his thoughts. Much as he wanted the distraction, he was trying to be there for a silent brother who wouldn’t look at him. The attempt alone was taxing on his mind; he already just wanted to go home, get drunk, and then lay in a bathtub for a few weeks.

Knocking on the door carefully, Dan entered quietly, noting that JD had turned off half the lights in his room again. Dan wondered briefly if they’d ever been completely on in the first place.

JD sat up in the bed, legs sprawled messily as he wrote furiously in a notebook. The black hoodie he’d had over his face the previous day was the balance for the papers he wrote in. He looked at Dan in curious surprise.

"Hey, little brother," Dan said as cheerfully as he could muster, pulling a chair up to the bed.

JD only stared at him witheringly.

"So…what happened, Johnny?" Dan asked, though he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the answer. He stared at the numerous bandages over JD’s arms, noting that he could see more wrapped around his younger brother’s torso through the split in the hospital gown.

JD didn’t respond verbally, but he did send Dan a look of self-deprecation.

"Johnny, I’m really trying this time around," Dan finally muttered, hitting the arm of his chair lightly with his arm. "Elliot already told me a little bit about what happened. You want to…uh…tell me the rest?"

JD shook his head in silence, and turned back to the notebook in front of him.

Dan shrugged in the chair. "Fair enough, bro. How are you feeling today then?"

JD shrugged on the bed, holding up his ankle. He made small movements to indicate surgery, but Dan didn’t seem to get the idea.

"Yeah, I guess it should hurt." Dan felt his discomfort rising at the situation as he struggled to push it back down and be there for his brother. He flexed his hands over the slightly-damp railing of his chair where his palm sweat had trickled on it.

The slighter, more imperceptible workings of his younger sibling’s face were going lost on him.

"Look, if you’re just going to sit there and not talk…do you mind if I at least try and catch a game on the tube?" Dan asked, frustration lining his voice.

JD shrugged and threw him the remote as he turned back to writing in the notebook.

"Do they know when you’re getting out of here?" Dan asked when the silence began to grate on him.

JD shrugged, running his own injuries through his head. The wound in his side, albeit sore, was healing nicely without much of a sign of infection. Dr. Wen had inspected it yesterday with an approving look on his face.

His ankle, however, would require at least one more surgery to refine the titanium pins that would connect the bones and reconstructed joint. It also didn’t seem Dr. Taylor would be letting him go anytime soon.

JD looked up at the metallic clicking of the door.

Dan glanced up when JD jumped slightly in the bed, and jerked back when the color had drained from his brother’s face and the pale fingers began tapping frantically on the sheets.

Dr. Taylor entered the room with a pleasant smile on her face, and noted the new visitor in the room with vague interest.

"Hello," she said, extending her hand to Dan. "I’m Dr. Taylor. You are…?"

"Dan Dorian. I’m Johnny’s brother," Dan replied, shaking the woman’s hand firmly. "Which doctor are you?"

"I’m his psychologist," Dr. Taylor replied easily as she pulled a second chair up to JD’s bed. "And it’s time for our daily session. Would you mind giving us a bit of privacy?"

Dan frowned, noting that JD didn’t seem happy at all with the prospect. "I don’t think he’s up to talking today. He hasn’t said two words since I came in."

Dr. Taylor shrugged casually. "He hasn’t said two words to anyone since he came to the hospital, Mr. Dorian. It really is important that we keep the continuity in his life right now. Routine is important for recovering trauma victims."

Dan shrugged, still not satisfied at JD’s pale, wary look. "I think he should skip it today. He’s got me."

JD looked at Dan in vague surprise at his argumentative stance. He clenched his fists in the sheets, cautiously hoping that Dr. Taylor would listen.

Dr. Taylor frowned at the man sitting in front of her. "Mr. Dorian, your brother needs a strict schedule. He’s been through a lot, and there’s still very much left for him to deal with. Unless I’m mistaken, you don’t possess the proper training to give him the help he needs. I’m going to ask you to leave his room so we can have our daily session."

Dan shrugged. "Yeah? Well, unless I’m mistaken, he looks like he’d rather screw a gorilla then spend an hour with you."

Probably the same thing, Dan muttered in his head, but kept his face casually friendly.

Dr. Taylor did look both affronted and annoyed at that. "He needs his session today, Mr. Dorian. Unless you want me to have you forcibly removed-and I will-then I suggest you leave and come back in about an hour."

Dan glanced back to JD’s direction, and sighed. "Whatever, lady." He grabbed his jacket and stalked out of the room.

Dr. Taylor sat down in Dan’s vacated seat with a reluctantly disappointed JD. "Did you sleep well?"

JD glared at her and went back to writing in the notebook.

"I see you’ve been keeping a diary," Dr. Taylor went on with interest. She smiled at him. "I don’t suppose you’d let me read it sometime, would you?"

JD sent her a look that clearly said no in nine different ways.

"I’ll take that as a negative," she said, trying to put him at ease with a chuckle. The man didn’t relax. "So you went to Dr. Cox’s room last night."

JD shrugged.

"Was he the one who did all of this to you?" Dr. Taylor asked bluntly.

JD looked at her with shocked disbelief. He glared at his hands for a minute, and took a deep breath to ease the angry ache in his chest.

Dr. Taylor noted his reactions, jotting something down in the clipboard as she looked away.

"I can’t believe what an egotistical, misguided, idiotic piece of moron you really are. You have got to be, without a doubt, the worst excuse of a psychologist I have ever seen in my entire life."

Dr. Taylor’s head snapped up at JD’s voice. "So you’ve decided to talk to me now."

JD glared at her. "You really are a real piece of work if you think Perry did any of this to me or to himself."

"Then who did, Dr. Dorian?"

JD didn’t respond anymore, and turned back to the notebook.

"If you don’t tell me who, then I can only make assumptions based on my observations," Dr. Taylor said idly. "I know who captured you; the police have yet to find him."

JD ignored the cold, sweaty chill that trickled down his spine at that prospect, but he didn’t respond to her anymore.

Dr. Taylor sighed, and settled for watching the man write furiously away.

XXXXXXXXX

Perry looked up when his door opened, dim hope fading when Paige entered the room with Jack. He forced a smile past his lips to the child.

Jack grinned widely. "Daddy!" he yelped, and immediately began trying to throw himself to the floor. Fun as Aunt Paige was, but she certainly wasn't Daddy. "Down!" he yelled at her petulantly.

Paige struggled with the squirming boy as she sat on Perry's hospital bed and carefully held Jack away from Perry's injured wrist. When her brother said nothing and rubbed a hand affectionately over Jack's hair, Paige twisted Perry's arm hard.

Perry glared at her out of Jack's eyesight in question.

"I don't care if you talk to me or anyone else," Paige said quietly. "But this is your son."

Perry sighed. There wasn't much exposition or soul-searching in talking to a four-year-old, was there?

"Hey, Jacky," Perry finally said, and coughed to the side when his voice was hoarse from disuse.

Jack smiled at him. "Hi, Daddy. You got lots of owies!"

Perry laughed weakly as Jack poked at the white bandages over his father's arm. "Yeah, I do, Jacky. So what's happening with you?"

Jack grinned. "Aunt Paige let me stay up and watch Chicken Run!"

"She let you stay up? I bet that was fun."

"Real late. And then she made waffles," Jack chirped on. "But they were kind of burned, so we went to Denny's."

"Late night and then a breakfast fit for kings," Perry said wryly, but turned the slightly-fake smile back to his son. "Have you seen Mommy yet?"

Jack nodded wildly, giving the impression that his head might have flown off had it not been attached properly.

"She lays down a lot. And she slept a long time," Jack told him. "But Barbie made her better. She still lays down a bunch though."

Paige let them chirp away at each other, glad that something had finally made her brother talk. The time came, however, for Jack to go to pre-school, and Paige looked over at Perry casually.

"I want to talk with you when I come back. Will you do that for me?"

Perry shrugged as he kissed his son on the head. "Yeah. I will." He turned a bright smile to his kid. "I'll see ya later, Jacky, okay?"

"Love you," Jack replied to him and left a wet, smacking kiss over Perry's cheek.

Paige grinned at that, but walked Jack out the door.

Perry lay back in the bed, features slipping back into that of relaxed silence. It had been so easy to just forget about everything with Jack in the room at that point. It was almost like having JD with him all over again, the distraction enough to deter the raw, hard sorrow that had been raking his system over the coals for days.

It was that day that Perry decided to start talking again.

XXXXXXXX

Dr. Taylor sat up a little with interest when JD's hand finally stopped moving to stretch out a cramp from writing so quickly.

"Are you ready to talk again yet?" Dr. Taylor asked curiously.

JD slid a withering look in her direction. "Are you ready to join the rest of the thinking world and grow a couple of brain cells?"

"That's not very nice," she commented idly.

"You're not a nice person."

"So if Dr. Cox didn't do all of this to you, who did?"

"You've read the files. The patient's name was Thomas Alexander. He had DID."

"But you seemed very attached to Dr. Cox. Why not Thomas?"

"Because Thomas was a lunatic." JD glared at her. "Thomas was crazy, and he deserves to be punished for what he did."

"It's healthy to feel that way. But Thomas did have a mental disease. It's not common for people with DID to lash out in quite this fashion so strongly."

JD rolled his eyes and stretched out his hand again. "If I've said it once, I'll say it a million times before you let me out of here. You're an idiot." He turned back to the notebook in front of him.

Dr. Taylor pursed her lips. This would really cause quite a bit of damage to her paper and theory.

"Idiot I may be, but how do I know you're not just protecting him? It's obvious that you feel something for him."

"I'm protecting him because we both need protecting." JD suddenly felt discomfort wash through him at the thought, but shoved it away indignantly. Of course he wanted to protect the man he'd always looked up to.

With psychologists like Dr. Taylor around, who needed psychos?

"So you feel like he needs someone to look after him?"

JD blinked out of his daze for a moment to stare at the repugnant woman across from him.

"Do you really think he's capable of all of that? What, did he rape himself too?"

"I read that there were signs of rape in your physiological work-ups," Dr. Taylor replied. "But it's the first time either of you have wanted to say anything about it."

"It's none of your business. You're a shitty psychologist; what do you expect?"

"I want to know more about Thomas."

"I've already told you everything I know."

"Did he have any family while you were there?" Dr. Taylor went on. "Being insane, surely they wouldn't have left him alone."

JD gritted his teeth. "You already know he killed a nurse to escape."

"But why you two? Surely there were more important people at that hospital for him to kidnap and bargain with for his freedom."

"Because he thought he knew me."

"Then why take Dr. Cox as well?" She tapped a pencil against the clipboard.

"You're asking me to think like he did, and I can't."

"Insanity is predictable, Dr. Dorian. His actions against you and Dr. Cox were not, which is why I keep coming back to why you defend your friend so much."

"He didn't do anything to me!" Even so, JD's cheeks burned red at the memory of sex at knife point. Now it was back to something awful and shameful again, though part of his brain still muttered that it wasn't that bad, not with…Perry.

"I think we both know that you're lying somewhat," Dr. Taylor sighed, and stood. "I have other patients to see, Dr. Dorian. I think we've made some progress today, don't you?"

"If by progress, you mean that my IQ's gone down since you entered the room, sure."

Dr. Taylor clucked at him pitiably, and left the room without another word.

JD threw his body back down to the pillows in annoyance. Talking to her had done nothing to ease the dreaded ache in his chest. Something about her just wasn't right. He couldn't put a finger down on what that something was, but it kept him awake at nights and let nightmares drift through his daydreams.

He knew it had something to do with the fact that he never saw Carla anymore.

XXXXXXXXX

Dan stood outside in the hallway as Dr. Taylor exited, feeling a hint of pride swell within him when he heard JD's acerbic remark upon her IQ.

"How's my brother doing?" Dan asked, walking with the woman down the hallway.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that."

"He's my brother; you're supposed to tell me if I ask."

Dr. Taylor stopped and stared at him. "He's going to need a lot of therapy. He's talking again at the least."

"That's good…I guess. Hey, would it be okay if I took him down to see Coxer? I think he'd talk more if I did."

"Coxer? Oh, Dr. Cox." Dr. Taylor stared down at her notes, and frowned. "No, I don't think that would be wise just yet for the sake of his recovery."

"Coxer didn't do anything to him; they're…friends, sort of. I think…"

"Mr. Dorian, I don't think it's wise at this point for your brother to be revisiting all of the old memories in silence with Dr. Cox. I'll ask you again to keep him in his room and away from the other man. He'll be better sooner for it." Dr. Taylor nodded her goodbye to him and walked down the hallway.

Dan frowned and kicked at the floor. He didn't know much about psychology or brain stuff, but he knew when someone was wrong.

With a sigh, Dan pushed a few quarters into the soda machine, not quite realizing how hard he was punching them in until a voice nearby asked him a question.

"Now what did that poor soda machine ever do to you, I wonder?" Paige asked with an amused look.

Dan punched the soda button he wanted. "Nothing," he muttered. "How's Coxsmith doing?"

Paige shrugged. "I've seen him look better. He started talking today."

"Johnny's had a thing or two to say himself." Dan juggled the soda can from hand to hand. "He doesn't like his psychologist."

"He and I agree." Paige walked with Dan back to JD's room. "How is he doing though?"

Dan shrugged. "I've seen him look better. You want to come in and say hi?"

Paige snorted. "No, I don't think so. I can only deal with one broken person a year, and Perry's it this time."

"He doesn't talk after the psychologist leaves." Dan realized then how close he was to begging her to sit in the room with him, if only because the silence was too much. "Come on. It won't hurt."

Paige raised an eyebrow. "That little lost puppy routine only works at church socials for me, but I suppose I can make an exception."

Dan bit back a caustic remark about what, exactly, she could do with her church socials, but opened the door for her anyway.

JD looked up, frowning in surprise when he saw Paige enter with Dan. He rolled his eyes; that was all he needed today.

"Hey, little brother. You remember Coxer's sister, don't you?"

JD gave her a nod of acknowledgement and then shot a curious glare in Dan's direction.

Dan shrugged, realizing he was finally picking up on JD's facial expressions. "I figured since your doc won't let you see him, his sister would be the next best thing." He leaned over to JD's ear. "Come on, man…I just want to spend some time with her. Don't screw it up, little brother."

JD snorted in laughter, glancing over Dan's shoulder to the nice-looking blonde behind him. He looked up to her face, grabbing contact with the clear, ice-colored eyes set in pale skin.

Air became harder to inhale. Paige's eyes were an exact replica of Perry's, but seemingly happier. It had been a long time since JD had seen those eyes looking that bright.

"Hey, Johnny," Paige said pleasantly enough and sat down in Dr. Taylor's vacated chair.

JD waved without smiling.

Dan felt his younger brother's eyes boring into him; saw the nervous jerks of his hands and lips. Something about Paige seemed to have affected him, though it was difficult to say what.

He idly hoped she wasn't giving him the same uncomfortably warm feeling in his stomach that she gave him.

Dan grinned at that in his head, but sat down beside of Paige in an empty chair. "How'd it go with Dr. What's-her-Face?"

JD snorted again and let his hand swing in a so-so movement. Then he made the movement of wanting to hang himself.

Paige grinned, glad that the young man in the bed had finally stopped staring at her so oddly. "Perry seems to feel the same way. He talked to Jack today."

JD looked up. "He talked?"

Dan nearly jumped at the sound of his brother's voice, hoarse from disuse and slightly thick.

Paige nodded. "If he hadn't, I would've beat him up," she said simply. "Jack's his kid."

"Do you think I could see him? Dr. Cox, I mean," JD asked quietly.

Paige bit her lip. She still wasn't entirely certain that she wanted the younger man around her brother. Perry had grown so quiet around JD, and Perry's screaming fit was still fresh in her mind.

Not to mention the pesky doctor's orders that JD stay in his room.

Dan thought more of the doctor's orders then Paige did. "I don't know, little brother. Your doctor says you can't."

JD shrugged, but the disappointment was evident on his face. "Whatever." Then he closed his mouth again, hard desolation streaming through his mind as he pulled out the notebook again to start writing.

Paige sighed. She recognized that awful look on JD's face, if only because she had seen it on Perry's in the last four days that they'd not been allowed to visit each other.

Dan leaned over to Paige. "Come on, Sister Coxer. He looks so sad."

"You're going to be an awful father-figure if that look sends you into a guilt trip."

"He just wants to see him for a few minutes."

"The doctor said no."

JD listened to them argue and exchange random insults quietly. He let the pencil rest softly on the blank page of a notebook in front of him, trying to gather the thoughts and ideas in his head enough to write them down. It had started as simply writing letters to Perry, but now he wrote other things down as well.

He let a finger drift over the edge of the paper, wincing when he received a thin cut for his trouble. The skinny trickle of blood made his pale skin look whiter, and he sucked on the offending finger idly.

Pain generally shoved anything away in a person's mind if it hurt enough. JD looked at the thin cut again idly, knowing he still had yet to look at the gashes and lacerations over his arms and chest. He wasn't sure he wanted to.

It was that day that JD decided to stop talking all together.

XXXXXXXXXX

Carla smoothed down her scrubs top, wincing at the brightly decorative cartoon characters. She had worn her regular scrubs for two days before one of the pediatricians mentioned that the children liked the playful scrubs.

It had been implied that if she didn't wear them, a child might just throw up on her. She didn't believe it until a child did.

Carla sighed, looking down the hallway towards the elevator. She loved children; she knew she did. She didn't appreciate being maneuvered by someone who didn't know what they were talking about.

Talking to Kelso hadn't helped matters either. The more she tried, the more Kelso simply told her that she had a grudge against the psychologist for asking her to be transferred to a different ward.

Punching her time card so she could go home, Carla sighed wearily, rubbing the sore muscles of her neck. Turk hadn't been much help either; Dr. Miller had turned into a real ball-buster lately over writing post-op notes, pre-op notes, and turning in all paperwork on time.

Turk, as a result, was either generally too exhausted, angry, or fussy to go see JD and give Carla a decent update.

Elliot hadn't been much assistance either. She had been curiously absent for the past two days. Carla knew she was there, had caught her running around the corner of the pedes ward every two hours or so.

Elliot wanted help over something, but seemed too jumpy to approach anyone about it yet. Therefor, Elliot was also wrapped up in her own problems enough that she couldn't spy on the "evil psychologist" (which, in Carla's mind, came with both quote marks and dragon skin).

Carla sighed and headed for the elevator. She could visit the ICU ward easily. Turk was a handy excuse there, as was Laverne.

With new resolve, Carla headed not for the ICU ward, but Dr. Taylor's office. She zipped up the brown sweatshirt she wore, hoping it would mask the bright colors of her scrubs as she rode the elevator up.

Something wasn't right about that stupid woman; if she wasn't careful, Dr. Taylor would end up doing more harm then good to "Carla's boys".

The thought made Carla want to vomit. She held her elbows tightly until the elevator dinged, and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves as she approached the office.

Dr. Taylor's voice, while muffled and quiet, could still be heard through the cracked-open door.

Carla stood quietly outside. She pulled her hood over her distinctive hair and grabbed a mop as if she were cleaning up.

"I'm not sure, Alex. When can you come down again?" A pause. "That's pretty far off, but I understand. No, no, I'm doing fine with Dr. Dorian's case file, and I've just received the records for Thomas Alexander. I haven't had a chance to go over them more finely, but he sounds like a textbook DID case. Yes, I have been trying to talk to Dr. Cox. I still think he had something more to do with it then innocent victim." Another long pause, and when Dr. Taylor spoke again, her voice was agitated. "I say that because of Dr. Dorian's romantic attachment to the man. I've read through his daily diary that he's been keeping, and it's obvious that he's unhealthily connected to someone who seemingly has no attachments, and doesn't want them either. I'm not getting much help from their friends; that's for sure. I've already had to boot out one nurse who keeps disregarding my orders, and it looks like I may have to do the same with a couple of other people. I am listening to both of them, and I still think that Dr. Cox suffered first, and then took it out on Dr. Dorian. Have you read his records?"

Carla wrapped her hands tightly around the mop handle, praying that it didn't break.

"Neither of them want to talk about the time frame; my assumption is that Thomas Alexander definitely did rape and abuse Dr. Cox to some sort of mild extent. However, two wrongs don't make a right, and Dr. Cox did appear to take it out on Dr. Dorian. I'll make sure to do that, yes. All right. I'll see you in a couple of weeks, Alex. Good bye."

Carla dropped the mop handle and quickly sprinted off down the hallway. When she was sure she was out of earshot, she let out a frustrated cry as she punched the wall.

Pain racked her hand as she shook it out and leaned her forehead against the wall. That had been exactly what she was afraid of; the woman was deliberately misinterpreting the information she was gathering.

Carla sighed as raw anger and upset made her feel faintly nauseous. She felt helpless, though she vaguely wondered if talking to Kelso or someone would help on this.

As she headed for the ICU ward with new resolve, Carla bit her lip and struggled to wipe the redness from her angry face. She told herself the moisture that came with it was only sweat. She couldn't afford to be a weak one right now.

"Hey, Carla," Dan said as he met her coming down the way with Paige. "Paige and I were going to grab a beer; you want to come with?"

"Uh…no. I'm trying to find Turk. Hey, Dan, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Dan shrugged and gestured for Paige to go ahead. "I'll meet you downstairs."

Paige grinned and left with a wave to Carla.

Dan turned back to Carla, the look on his face reminding her sorely of a five-year-old on Christmas morning when he knows he's gotten the bike he wanted.

"She's great, isn't she? Annoying as hell, but great."

"Dan," Carla tried.

"I'm trying to decide how to really approach this. Last time I went out with a girl, it got totally messed up, and…"

"Dan," Carla snapped sharply. "I need to talk to you about Dr. Taylor."

Dan stopped speaking with a shrug. "Make it quick."

"I don't think she knows what she's doing." Carla quickly relayed what she could remember of Dr. Taylor's end of the conversation.

Dan scratched his head. "Okay. But what do you want me to do about it?"

"Can't you take Bambi to a different a hospital?" Carla asked desperately.

"Carla…man, I don't know," Dan said edgily. "Taylor did get him to talk today."

"Then tell Paige to get Perry out of here," Carla went on. "I think they're really going to get hurt if they stay."

Dan shrugged, sliding his hands into his pockets. "I'll do what I can, Carla…but I don't think she'll go for it."

"Just do something."

"I'll try-"

"Promise me, Dan."

Dan sighed and looked at his shoes. They needed a good washing. "I can't promise, Carla. But I'll try."

Carla sighed. It would have to do. "Alright." She gestured him to go, and let herself drift numbly to the doctor's lounge.

Certain that she was finally alone in the darkness of the room, she bent her head over and sobbed.

XXXXXXXX

JD maneuvered his aching body into the wheelchair again. He couldn't get caught this time around. Carla had paid for that, and he didn't want other people to be mysteriously transferred to other wards because of what he had done.

The wheelchair felt cool against his hands, and he idly pressed his cut finger against the metal over the tubing. It ached sorely, and he stared at the offending finger with an odd gleam in his eyes.

Determined as ever, JD rolled himself out of the room and down the hallway. He pushed open the door to Perry's room quietly, making sure he let in as little light as possible.

JD rolled up to the bed and tapped on Perry's hand lightly.

Perry glanced over at him, still feeling groggy from that afternoon's surgery on his hand. He hadn't had an opportunity to speak with Dr. Yancey yet, but if what his hand felt like right now was any indication, things were really beginning to pile up.

"Hey, Missy," Perry said in slurred greeting.

JD only grinned at him.

Perry frowned. The kid hadn't given up the silence yet. "You're going to have to talk to someone eventually, Tina."

JD shook his head, laying his hands on the sheet beside of Perry's hand. He gestured to Perry's wrist.

"They took the restraints off before surgery, Ashley," Perry replied a bit tiredly. The anesthesia was still making him feel sleepy and out of it, and his chest wasn't doing so hot either.

JD looked at him quietly, eyes full of something he couldn't explain. He patted the bed beside of Perry's body and rose an eyebrow curiously.

Perry rolled his eyes, shutting them tightly. He didn't want the kid in here right now, not when he'd finally figured out to make himself better. Then he remembered it was just as easy to forget everything with JD there as it was with Paige or Jack.

In the end, his body was moving sluggishly before he could tell it not to, and JD had climbed into the bed with him.

JD lay his head onto Perry's chest in silence, the only sound being a sigh of frantic relief when he started tapping his fingers against Perry's hip in time with the heartbeat in his ear.

Perry cautiously raised an arm to encompass JD's shoulders. "I don't spoon."

JD smiled against his chest.

Perry sighed, inhaling the scent of astringent soap and hospital smell coming off of JD's hair. He lifted a hand to stroke a section of the dark strands there. It was slightly tangled, but at least it wasn't caked to the sky with "hair product". He smiled at the thought as JD breathed silently against him.

It was the rhythmic breathing he felt against his body that made Perry relax again. He let his fingers remain in JD's hair as he kept his recently-operated on hand sit uselessly to the side. He felt JD slide his other arm under his waist, avoiding the bandages stealthily.

"Just remember this, Annie. I don't spoon, I don't cuddle, and I don't snuggle either," Perry muttered gruffly against his forehead.

JD didn't respond as he let his fingers brush over the white gauze on Perry's arm. He knew was what underneath it, knew what was underneath his own bandages. He didn't doubt it now that it meant so much more inside of his head. They were branded, for all intents and purposes.

No one came back from that.

JD let the hand fall back to Perry's chest in silence.

Perry breathed a sigh when the kid stopped stroking his arm. That was too intimate, even for the two of them. The awful part had been when JD stopped, he felt disappointment carefully flow into his mind. To make up for it, he settled for letting his fingers massage gently against the nape of JD's neck.

JD was asleep before too long, and Perry let his eyes drift closed as he felt and listened to the soft sounds of JD's even breathing.

Perry didn't sleep, but he figured it was just as well. He picked up the kid's hand with one of his own and held onto it, gently stroking and tapping a message to the kid's hand that he knew JD wouldn't feel.

JD frowned in sleep, but didn't wake as the tapping registered in his half-asleep, half-dozing mind. He was dreaming. But it was a good dream for once.

They were back in the bathtub. But Thomas wasn't there, and it was dark and silent in the room. And Perry needed him just as much as he needed the older man.

It was a good dream.

XXXXXXXXX

Author's Notes: I know this chapter seemed short and a bit choppy…my sincerest apologies; it's been a long few days since I posted Chapter 2. :sighs: Chapter Four should come a little easier though.

Okay, now for the part about Dr. Taylor. :sighs: I'm mostly doing this because of the death threats, annoyances, irritation, and one particularly long-winded rant that made me feel a bit like my life was in danger.

I didn't originally intend to have Dr. Taylor around for that long. Before anyone starts to say that it's not possible for such a stupid woman to continue practicing medicine, I'll be the first to tell you that it is. Unfortunately, Dr. Taylor is based upon a real psychologist. I don't normally divulge info like this about, but Dr. Taylor is a rather close sibling of my old psychologist, and one of the reasons I don't do therapy anymore.

Dr. Taylor is an important part of this plot, which is why she's still around. She's not doing much wrong except deliberately misinterpreting the facts in order to support her own goals and ambitions. There's not much more I can say about that because of plot reasons. While I'm pretty sure I made her theory a bit more clear this time about, I'll go ahead and say it again.

Dr. Taylor believes that both men were, in fact, raped. Yes, she does believe Perry was raped. Her theory goes awry at the fact that she believes it happened very early in their captivity, after which Thomas pretty much "left them alone" to a greater extent. Her belief is that Thomas, due to his disorder, couldn't possibly strike out physiologically the way he has against them. She does, however, think that the rape left Perry so angry and traumatized, that he took it out on what he believed to be a familiar, safe victim (JD). Because his background and records do support the fact that Perry is prone to taking his anger out physically, Dr. Taylor is led to believe that it would be possible for Perry to take it out irrationally upon JD now. That's the other reason she feels it necessary to ban JD from seeing Perry. I am working around that.

The next question may be…how long is this Taylor woman going to be doing this? Quite a while, I'm afraid. At least the next couple of chapters; but I'm not really intending to have her play quite so many speaking parts in the next few chapters. She'll be more mentioned as this dark evil person above then actually doing dark evil things. The next few chapters will be more JD/Perry intensive, to be honest. I'll be going into more about their coping mechanisms, what they've both decided to do on their own terms in order to deal with such a horrible psychologist, their lack of visitation rights, and the fact that Thomas still hasn't been found.

Thomas…which by the way, I accidentally mixed up his last name in Chapter 13 of MSC. :sighs: Thomas is still around; that's all I can really say. He's not going to be a very big part of My Silent Partner until nearer to the end.

Okay, real author-stuff here. Again, Dr. Taylor is based upon a real psychologist, so unless the medical standards of NC are horribly lax, then it is quite possible for a bad psychologist to mislead the facts this badly. This was the plan for My Silent Partner all along, to be honest. I'm sorry that it's so frustrating for so many, but that's the bare bones of it all.

I hope these author's notes have helped everyone to better understand why Dr. Taylor is still doing this, why she's still here, things of that nature. Again, my sincerest apologies for what I'm doing to the boys, I guess, but that was the story plan and plot.

As always, I hope you've enjoyed reading, and there will be more JD/Cox interaction in the next few chapters as I lead My Silent Partner to a close. The next few chapters will be more about JD and Perry's recovery, Dan's inability to really deal, and Paige's own resolve beginning to fray as memories of her childhood are brought up more and more. I haven't forgotten about Jordan and Elliot, but they're still "arguing" right now. I'll probably bring them up a bit in Chapter Four.

Again, hope this helps, and thanks for reading!

Continues with Chapter 4