My Life

Chapter Six

Perry woke to a high-pitched shrill. His stomach dropping, he opened his eyes immediately. Relief washed over him as he realized it was Barbie.

"Is he going to be okay or not? Wake up already!"

"Barbie, if I wanted to hear your highly-pitched annoying voice screaming at me in the morning, I think I'd hire a small boy to kick a man in the nuts. Can you back off of me?"

Elliot glared at him and crossed her arms impatiently.

Perry had to stifle his grin. She looked remarkably like Jordan when she did that. He stood, popping his back as he went.

"Look, whatever it was you said to Jordan, she can't remember half of it. What the frick happened last night?"

Perry rubbed a hand over his face and crossed his arms. "Blood clot just above the collar bone near the carotid. His brain was deprived of oxygen, and then his heart stopped from lack of oxygen in the blood."

"I thought that's what Jordan said," Elliot trailed off. "Is he going to be okay?"

"God damn it, why do people keep asking me that?" Perry muttered. "They won't know until he wakes up, alright? Don't you have a patient to kill this morning?" He shoved past her, using his good shoulder to knock against hers.

Elliot stumbled backwards and glared after him. She wondered if she should point out it was be easy to make his life a living hell with Jordan backing her.

Then again, Elliot remembered her comments that morning. Jordan hadn't looked happy, though a gleam of humor had been in her impatient, sleepy face. She sighed and headed for the third floor.

XXXXXXX

Perry winced at the acidic coffee and leaned against a wall outside the hospital.

"You goddamn son of a bitch," an angry voice said behind him.

"Save it, Danny-boy," Perry said tiredly. "I already got it from Ghandi and Barbie, I don't need it from you."

"How the hell could you let him do that? What part of "look after Johnny because he looks up to you" didn't you get, you egotistical jerk?"

Perry still didn't look up and wondered if ignoring him would make him go away.

"Are you even listening to me?" Dan asked angrily.

Drawing a lazy gaze to Dan, Perry raised an eyebrow. "Let me think about it. Hold your breath till I get back to you." He sipped his coffee.

Dan shoved the cup from his hand, spilling hot coffee over his shirt. "You're damn well going to listen to me! What the hell did you let him do that for?"

"You'd have to ask him," Perry finally said after a moment. "I don't guess Carla told you much else beyond that he was trying to help me, huh?"

Dan crossed his arms and still glared down at him. "Just because you're a drug addict now doesn't mean you have to drag my little brother down with you. I trusted you to watch after him!"

Perry moved fast enough to have Dan backing away slightly. He faced Dan so closely that their noses nearly touched.

"Let me tell you a secret, Clarissa. You don't know what's going on, and you sure as hell have no right to preach to me about what your brother did in a moment of stupidity. So I suggest you pack up the tool, take a piss to get the testosterone out of your system, and leave me the hell alone." Perry began to move past Dan.

Dan slammed his hands against Perry's chest in a shove. "He nearly died for you!"

Moving quickly again, Perry whirled Dan against the wall and shoved a forearm against his throat.

"Now you listen and listen good, Mr. Finally-care-about-my-brother. The last time I checked, you were only in it so you could pound on Newbie enough to make your own life look better. The last time I checked, you were hurting him more than I've ever intended to hurt him. Don't come around here trying to tell me that it's my fault or that I've done something to cause this. Don't pretend to care or love him the way you should have from the beginning. Don't pretend that you could even possibly care about this kid more than I do." He shoved his arm against Dan's throat for good measure and headed away to replace his coffee.

A light dawned in Dan's eyes. "Christ on a cross; is that what's going on?"

Perry turned at that. "What the hell are you whining about now?"

"That's why you're here like this," Dan said incredulously. "You sick fuck. You're like…liking him, aren't you?"

"That's none of your goddamned business," Perry said sharply.

"You conned him into helping you for your fucking affection; you really are an unbelievable narcissist!" Dan snapped and shoved past him to leave him standing alone in the parking lot.

Perry stood alone, staring at the dark lot. Nervousness and anger combined made him feel vaguely ill and anxious, and he stared down the direction he'd last seen Josh taking a turn for.

He looked up at the hospital, wondering if maybe he should go and kick Dan's ass. He decided against it, remembering that he'd assaulted enough people for the day. With his hands linked on top of his head, he walked towards the sidewalk to head for home.

XXXXXXX

Dan cornered Elliot in the hallway. "Come talk to me for a minute." It wasn't a request.

Elliot frowned. "Just a second, I've got a patient."

Dan tapped his foot impatiently as Elliot disappeared into a patient's room for five minutes to chat. When she came out, his angry look made her feel vaguely nervous.

"What is it?" she asked as she began signing the chart in front of her.

"Why didn't you tell me that Dr. Ego and Johnny were screwing?"

Elliot frowned. "Because they're not. JD's just helping Dr. Cox with a rough time."

"Are you blind?" Dan asked, slapping his temple for effect.

"No, but you are beginning to make me angry," Elliot said, narrowing her eyes at him. "There's nothing going on between them. I'd know." She felt bad about the lie, but Dan looked angry enough to kill.

"Of course there's something going on! Coxy doesn't give a shit about anyone; you know that better then anyone. Why the hell would Johnny even want to help him?"

"I don't understand why JD wants to help Dr. Cox any more then you do. The only thing I can tell you is that JD thinks he can fix and help anyone. I don't like that he's hurt and in the ICU because of him, but it was his choice." Elliot flipped the chart closed with a sharpness that made Dan angrier. "And what JD chooses to do is none of my business. And it's not any of yours either."

"Like hell it's not! That jerk is duping him!"

"Dan, if you don't calm down, I'll have to ask you to leave the hospital," Elliot said quietly, though her stomach shook with nerves. "I really don't want to have to do that, because I know you want to be here for your brother, who needs all the support he can get right now."

Dan's eyes blazed with fury. "I can't believe you're just gonna ignore this! Dr. Ass-face is just using Johnny's hero-worship to get what he wants!"

"And what could DJ possibly have that Perry wants anyway?" a coolly polite voice asked from behind.

Elliot recognized Jordan's sharply angry tone. She closed her eyes. "Morning, Jordan."

"Blondie. You have got to be DJ's brother," Jordan went on, eyeing the man up and down. "Now what are you shrieking about? I really got to tell you though; my three-year-old son has a more manly scream then you."

"Your ex-husband; don't you see what's going on?" Dan asked irately, annoyed that he was getting the insult treatment from the ex-wife of the man he was angry at.

Jordan raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms. "Listen, Donny Marie, is it?"

Dan narrowed his eyes, wondering why no one would listen to him. "It's Dan."

"Oh, sorry about that; I gave you the impression I cared," Jordan replied with a fake smile that made Elliot grin to Dan's back. "So listen, Donny. You don't know much about what's been going on, and since I'm assuming you've already engaged in a pissing contest with my ex-husband and now you're picking on Blondie here because you couldn't get Perry to believe you, I'll let you in on a little secret."

"God, will no one listen?" Dan snapped.

"Not to peons, no," Jordan supplied quickly. "But anyway. Listen up. I know you're getting a really great, manly rush from trying to beat up everyone that's coming your way, but I suggest you lay off. While you may not take a threat from Princess too critically, it would behoove you immensely to take me more than seriously. And behoove means you should clean the wax out from your ears."

Jordan's eyes narrowed piercingly as she continued. "I will have you thrown out in a heartbeat at the snap of my fingers. Now straighten your panties out, pull your skirt down, and take a chill pill the size of your head."

She began to brush past him, but then turned. "And when I say head, I meant the one you're supposed to be thinking with, because the other one's not nearly big enough." Jordan walked off quickly, a satisfied grin on her face. It annoyed her in the back of her mind that she'd been angry at Dan's behavior towards Blondie, but she shoved it away and headed for the board meeting.

Dan's face was edging towards purple in anger. "I seriously cannot believe the stupidity around here."

Elliot didn't reply right away and just gave him a shrug. "Look, Dan…JD could really use any support he can get. He's not awake yet, but should you call his mother?"

Dan snorted at that, and said nothing.

With a sigh, Elliot picked up another chart. "That's what I thought." She walked away for another patient's room.

XXXXXXXX

Perry stared at the moon from his bedroom. It was bright and full, hanging low in the sky with an orange tint to it. He knew he wanted to get back to the hospital soon in case JD woke up anytime soon, but for the moment, he wanted to lie still.

The hospital held mixed feelings. Between Dan and Turk, Perry was getting his ass kicked. They didn't know the whole story, but Perry felt it was really none of their business.

Then again, Perry supposed he couldn't blame them. In some big way, this was his fault entirely. If he'd just stayed away from Josh in the first place, this probably never would have happened.

The what-if game would drive him insane, he knew that well enough. He wondered mildly if he hadn't already lost it. He knew he was close to it, and that Newbie was the only thing keeping him anchored to the world of productive society. At this point, Newbie was his last chance to come back.

Perry wasn't sure he even wanted to come back at this point. Newbie could survive this without him. Perry knew he wasn't going to come out of this without Newbie's help. Between the gunshot wounds and the emotional pressure of dealing with it, he wondered if he should just leave and let Newbie sort himself out.

His gut twisted uncomfortably at that. He wouldn't be able to this all alone, not this time. With drinking, Jack had knocked sense enough into him that he brought himself back.

This time was different. The scars were running deeply this time, and he wasn't sure if they'd ever heal properly. Perry ignored the slight tingle in his head that indicated a headache was on the way.

Perry knew he couldn't do this forever. He berated himself for knowing so much already but refusing to fix the problem. He draped his good arm over his face, gingerly avoiding the black eye given to him, courtesy of "angry black man". He grinned as he remembered his business friend, and wondered idly how Nate was doing.

Shaking his head, Perry tried to bring himself back to the present. His daydreams were becoming more frequent and longer, and it was getting harder to snap out of the dazes he often found himself in. He wondered if that made him insane.

Perry, for his part, didn't feel crazy. Stressed beyond the breaking point, sure. But crazy? He wasn't sure he'd go that far on that note. He knew that he was building up to another breakdown, and it was going to make his last one seem tame by comparison.

As if he hadn't done enough damage to himself, Perry thought bitterly. He didn't want to think about how Newbie was going to deal with getting shot. He already knew JD would be avoiding the parking lot for as long as possible.

He let his arm fall back to his chest as he stared outside at the moon again. A few stars hung around it affectionately and blindly. The moon for its part didn't seem to realize or care as it kept moving in its usual rotation.

Perry smiled blankly as he stared. It was one thing to hit the self-destruct button when it was just him, but he began to feel as if when he had hit it, Newbie had still been on board. It wasn't fair.

"Life's not fair, Pacing Perry."

Long accustomed to Josh's taunting voice in his head, Perry found it easy to ignore. He concentrated on JD a little more. That was a problem that wasn't going to go away any time soon, and the only issue with that was that Perry had no idea where it was going.

If there was anything he knew was absolutely true, it was that this was his life. It was his to do with what he wished. Perry sat up on his bed and swung his legs out.

It was his life. And he didn't intend to do things his way unless Newbie was there.

Just as he knew JD would be coming to him when he woke up, Perry recognized the feeling for what it was. He wasn't going to walk down the long road of recovery unless JD walked beside him.

Perry got up, cuts and burns still stinging as he grabbed his brown hoodie and threw it on, ignoring the pain in his shoulder. He grabbed his keys, shoved them into the front pocket and sprinted out the door. As he sprinted down the sidewalk, he tried to remember when and where he'd ever picked up a hooded sweatshirt. They'd never been his style.

With a smile, he remembered Newbie had given it to him for Christmas last year.

XXXXXXXXX

When Perry arrived at the hospital, a reluctant Turk and Dan both were standing in front of JD's room.

"Standing guard, ladies?" Perry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You're not going in there," Dan said stiffly. "We don't want you coming near JD anymore."

Perry gave an amused frown. "That's just adorable, Betty. But when he wakes up, he's not going to be happy."

"That's okay," Dan replied smartly. "JD doesn't know what's best for him. As long as he's out of it like this, I'm his next-of-kin. You come near him again, I'm filing a restraining order on his behalf."

That got Perry's attention. "He's gonna kill you when he wakes up. You know damn well that he's not crazy."

"No, but you are," Dan said. Turk was looking uncomfortable at the thought of the restraining order. "No one around here wants to listen to me, but I can damn sure guarantee you that the police will. And if I can't get the police to give an order to him, I'll get one and just stay right here."

An image of Lieutenant Renicki trying to shove him away made Perry smirk.

"You're not going to win this one, Danny-boy," Perry replied. "And I'm staying right outside this room until Newbie wakes up to tell you himself what a colossal idiot you're being right now."

"On that note," Turk finally sighed. "I'm due for surgery." He patted Dr. Cox's shoulder and walked away.

"And I'm going to call the police to have you removed if you don't leave right now," Dan replied, his voice clearly indicating that he would.

"Give me about five minutes and we'll see what tune you're singing." Perry stood and took the stairs to the third floor to find Elliot. "Barbie!" He whistled sharply when she didn't turn.

Elliot jumped and gave an impatient, annoyed look. "Can I help you?" she asked bitingly.

"Look, save whatever you want to tell me. Where'd She-devil run off to?"

"Board meeting," Elliot replied. "Why? Is JD awake?"

"No, not exactly," Perry replied with a frown.

Elliot was the one who frowned now. "Is Dan bothering you again?"

Perry looked at her. "How'd you ever guess, blondie?"

The blond doctor shrugged. "He came in this morning with a tirade for me. Jordan told him if he didn't calm down and act like a grown-up, she'd have him thrown out of the hospital."

"That's exactly what I needed to hear. Where's Kelso's little minion?"

"Which one?"

"The wanna-be lawyer," Perry replied impatiently.

"Probably in his office, debating suicide," Elliot replied absently. "What's going on?"

Perry waved her off and headed for Ted's door to discuss the legality of it.

Ted looked nervously at the doctor. While some of the muscle tone had begun to fade, he was still a fairly imposing figure.

"Unfortunately, Dr. Cox, until the patient is awake and can clearly dictate his own wishes, his next-of-kin can write them out for him," Ted said nervously.

"Come on, Ted, that's a load of bullshit," Perry said angrily. "His brother can't keep me from visiting him."

"Yes he can," Ted repeated, wondering if Dr. Cox would punch him as hard as he'd punched the janitor. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can really do."

Perry threw his hands in the air and stalked out of the room. Frustrated, he kicked the wall angrily.

"Aw, poor baby…would you like your pacifier back?" Jordan asked beside him as she leaned against the wall.

"Thank god. Can you still get Dan thrown out of here?" he asked.

Jordan sighed and crossed her arms. "Unfortunately…"

"God damn it," Perry muttered and walked with his ex-wife down the hallway. "He's threatening a restraining order."

"Jerk," Jordan muttered with a shake of her head. "Technically, he can file as next-of-kin since he's DJ's brother."

"Okay, Ted," Perry muttered.

"Look, whenever sleeping beauty wakes up, he'll set his brother right," Jordan said. "And if DJ doesn't, you can bet your sweet ass that I will." She touched his shoulder lightly and walked off.

Perry sighed and wanted to pound his head into a wall. The helplessness was uncurling in his stomach again and his eyes hurt from tension. He ran a hand through his hair and headed for the roof to try and think.

XXXXXXXX

JD groaned, waking under a hazy sheet of drugs. He slowly opened his eyes and realized immediately there was a tube down his throat. His knee was hurting over the drug-induced fog, but in the same familiar way it had been for the past week. He realized with annoyed irritation that it meant he hadn't gotten his surgery yet.

Lacking the energy to hit the on-call button, he moved his eyes around the room. Nurses and doctors were walking about quietly in sterile gowns. He frowned at that. No one was sitting beside his bed, and he wondered where Perry had taken off to.

He groaned again, hoping the sound would attract a nurse. He frowned as he recognized Dan standing at the door to the ICU room, and he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know why.

A nurse heard the muffled noise and turned. "Dr. Dorian, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

JD gave her an annoyed look that clearly said "I've got a tube down my throat; how do you think I feel".

"I'll get a doctor to get that tube from your lungs," the nurse went on cheerfully, and left the room.

Dr. Wen approached JD's bed. "Afternoon, Dr. Dorian. Let's get that tube out, shall we?" he asked, voice muffled by the mask around his mouth and nose.

JD nodded as Dr. Wen helped him to sit up.

"You know the drill. Now, one, two, three…cough."

Feeling the tube slide out, he choked and gagged it out. "Ugh," he muttered and fell back to the bed.

Dr. Wen held up a cup of water with a straw. "How are you feeling?"

"Like someone decided it'd be fun to run a truck over me a few times," JD muttered. "What happened?"

Dr. Wen picked up his chart, looking over it with slight approval. "A blood clot formed in your shoulder wound. You can do the work from there."

JD nodded slowly. "Why the sterile room?"

"Infection in the shoulder. We're trying to prevent one," Dr. Wen supplied. "I think one more round of in-vitro antibiotics should help with that, and we can get you moved back to a regular room."

JD nodded and leaned his head back, feeling weaker then ever. "You seen Dr. Cox around?"

Dr. Wen frowned. "I thought I saw him at the door, but I don't think your brother would let him in."

The first tinges of anger began to prick at JD's mind. "Really," he asked evenly.

"John, you need your rest right now. If you have an issue, it'll have to wait. You're still very sick."

JD could feel sleep teasing at the edges of his consciousness already. "Do me a favor, would you, Dr. Wen?"

"What can I do for you?"

"Make sure my brother's not trying to stop Dr. Cox from getting in here," he said seriously. "Because that's what he's trying to do."

Dr. Wen nodded, though he was already grimacing on the inside. That wasn't going to be an easy task. He'd already heard that Dan had been half-terrorizing the hospital.

"Alright, Dr. Dorian. I'll give you another shot for the pain, and then I want you to sleep."

JD nodded and let his mind drift back into sleep.

Dr. Wen administered an injection of Demerol, and then headed out to speak with Dan.

"How's he doing?" Dan asked.

Dr. Wen crossed his arms. "He was awake for a few minutes just then, but I fear you were protecting the door too much to pay attention."

"It's for his own good; he doesn't know enough to be making his own decisions right now," Dan said stubbornly.

"Dan, is it?" The man in front of him nodded. "Listen, Dan, John was awake long enough to request that you stop trying to bar Dr. Cox from entering his room. He was quite lucid, I assure you."

"He still doesn't know what's good for him," Dan protested immediately. "I'm not leaving this door."

Jordan walked down the hallway quickly. "Dr. Wen," she acknowledged quickly. "Listen up, peon," she went on, glaring at Dan. "You know, the antics this morning were adorable, but now you're just pissing me off. If you don't back away from this door, I will make bank on throwing you out of this hospital. And don't you even begin to think that I'm not serious. I assure you, if you don't start listening to reason around here, I will redecorate the inside of your ass with the loudest, most annoying baby toy I can get my hands on from my kid. Comprende alle vou?"

Dr. Wen hid a smile behind his hand.

"No, you don't get it. Johnny's not in a good enough way right now to decide what's best for him. He got shot defending your ex-husband, and I don't want that drug-abusing jerk near my brother."

"A little late to be playing the protective family member, isn't it? You're pissing off a lot of people around here, Donny Marie."

Dr. Wen held up a hand to interrupt Jordan. "Miss Sullivan, that's really not necessary. Dr. Dorian was awake for a few minutes. He clearly stated that he did not want anyone barred from his room. And I promise you, he was quite competent and clear with his wishes."

"You hear that, Donny? So you had better quit blocking the door." Jordan flicked a piece of hair away from her face. "And by the way, you've no grounds for a restraining order on your part or DJ's. Your threats are about as empty as that noggin of yours. Now that we've taken care of that, if you don't back your scrawny ass away from the damn door…well, I don't need to repeat myself, do I?"

Dan glared at them both. "The hell with all of you," he snapped. "I don't need this." He stalked off.

Jordan raised an eyebrow. "My, my…he really should work on that temper of his." She looked at Dr. Wen. "How's DJ?"

"Back to sleep where he should be," Dr. Wen replied. "If your ex-husband wants to see him, he's welcome to though. He knows the rules for gowning up."

Jordan nodded and peered through the window at JD's pale face. She sighed and the curious stare turned sharp.

"You better be damn grateful, DJ," she muttered as she went to find Perry. When she passed Elliot on the way, she grabbed her arm. "Hey princess…thanks to you, I don't owe anyone favors for the next three years, and you are officially doing nothing for the next ninety days except work and babysitting."

Elliot gave a confused frown. "Say huh?"

Jordan released her arm and found Perry on the roof. "You can go see him now."

Perry stood and sighed as he jammed his hands into the front pocket of his brown hoodie.

"Thanks, Jordan," he finally said quietly.

"Don't go sappy on me now, Perry," Jordan replied, but there was no real rancor in her voice. "It was a favor for a friend."

Perry raised an eyebrow, but headed for the ICU.

Continues with Chapter 7