My Life

Chapter One

"GSW to the hip, collarbone, and kneecap coming in," a dispatcher called over the ER desk.

The gurney was rushed in, yet another patient in need of medical help.

"Is that…?"

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"Bring down the blood!"

"Push a liter of saline in with that blood. Would someone stop the bleeding on his collarbone?"

"God, his kneecap's completely shattered."

The two doctors worked at opposite ends of the bed, nurses taking vitals around them.

"Blood pressure is 150 over 90, falling steadily. Pulse OX of 83."

"He's losing too much blood; where the hell's the O-neg? Come on, people, this is one of our own!"

A loud whine sounded the air.

"Push the Epi!"

"V-tyach, Dr. Reynolds."

Dr. Reynolds rubbed the panels of the crash cart together. "Charging to 50…clear!"

A nurse ran in with a few bags of blood in her hand. "Blood's here!"

"Clear!"

XXXXXXXX

Carla yawned. She hated the graveyard shift. She hated it even more when the patients were actually sleeping like good little boys and girls. She leaned her head on the counter for a moment as her beeper went off.

Groaning, Carla dragged it off her waist and read the message. Her eyes went wide and she ran for the elevator, cell phone out in her hand. She waited impatiently as the elevator drifted slowly to the first floor and she was speeding out again as she rapidly talked on her cell phone.

The steady beeping of the machine had just barely started again when she arrived. Her face drained of color, she stared numbly into the room.

"Is he okay?" she asked a nurse who had just come out.

"Three bullets, one of them still stuck in his hip. One around his collarbone bleeding a lot, and that's the biggest problem." The frazzled nurse took off again.

"But where's…" Carla drifted off and stared dumbly into the room.

A hand finally clamped down on her shoulder. Carla whirled around. "What the hell happened?" she snapped.

Perry looked at her as if he were staring through her as they struggled to repair the human body in a way that finally looked different to him. A gash ran down the side of his forehead.

"He shot him." Perry struggled to control his breathing. He'd already spent the past ten minutes throwing up in the bathroom. "Josh shot him."

"Wha…why? What the hell is going on?" Carla shooed him to a seat and forced him into a plastic chair.

"He was…he was ah…aiming at me…I swear to God, he was aiming at me," Perry forced out. "Fucking Newbie…" Perry stood again and shoved a fist into the wall. "Damn it, Newbie!"

"What happened, Perry?" Carla snapped again.

"Newbie jumped in front of me." And then Perry finally collapsed into the chair.

XXXXXXXX

Elliot awoke to the sound of her beeper. Groaning slightly in her sleep, she brushed her hand over the nightstand for it clumsily and knocked it to the floor."

"I swear to God, blondie, if you don't get it together eventually, I'll have to go play with a grown-up."

"Ass out," Elliot mumbled sleepily and reached for the beeper. She flipped it on and yelped. Jumping out of bed, Elliot grabbed her discarded scrubs on the way.

"What the hell, princess?"

"That psycho just pumped three shots into JD," Elliot replied as she scrambled around for her shoes.

Jordan shoved the heels of her hands against her head as the sound of a baby crying filled the air. She flopped back into the bed and resolutely got out of it herself to tend to Jack.

XXXXXXX

Carla shut the door to the empty patient's room where she had managed to finally get Perry to sleep after stitching his head where one bullet had grazed him.

Turk paced the floor anxiously. "I should be the one taking that bullet out of his hip; Todd doesn't know what he's doing!"

"Baby, calm down," Carla soothed, running a hand over his shoulder. "You're too upset to operate on anything right now; you know that."

Turk shrugged off her hand and kept pacing back and forth. "Damn it, woman…if JD had just let Dr. Cox bury himself, this never would've happened!"

Carla fisted her hands to her hips. "Baby, you know that's not true."

"And now that guy is still out there!" Turk finished. He cleared his throat in an attempt to clean the hoarseness from it.

"Turk, shush!" Carla hissed. "I only just now got him knocked out!"

The doors to the first floor opened and Elliot rushed in, looking alert and sleepy at the same time.

"Is JD okay?" Elliot asked immediately.

"He's in surgery," Carla told her. "The doctors are worried, but they don't have that "he's gonna die" look on their faces."

"Where's Dr. Cox?" the blonde asked.

Carla frowned at the accusing note in her friend's voice. "Sleeping; he was a wreck."

But the look on Elliot's face was similar to Turk's, and Carla sighed as she felt the headache already forming.

When Jordan came in an hour later without Jack, she noted the pale, drawn faces. "Damn if I wasn't right," she muttered to herself reluctantly and sat down with Elliot and Carla. Turk still paced the floor, hands locked to his head.

"Someone should call Dan," Carla mentioned quietly after another hour had passed by.

Turk snorted at that, and Elliot reluctantly pulled out her cell phone. As she began to dial the phone, however, Dr. Wen came into the waiting room.

Turk nearly ran him over, and would have if Carla hadn't grabbed his arm.

"Is he okay?" Turk asked.

Elliot hung up the phone and joined the couple to listen.

Dr. Wen rubbed the back of his neck. His scrubs top was stained with blood spatters and vomit.

"I think he'll live," Dr. Wen finally said after a moment. "The bleeding was pretty bad, and the bullet in his hip was lodged pretty good near his spinal cord. I didn't see any obvious damage to the lumbar area, but we won't know for sure until he wakes up."

"So he's going to be alright? He'll live?" Turk asked again impatiently.

Dr. Wen sighed. "Turk, I don't have to tell you what the next twelve or so hours mean. I'm sorry."

"When can we see him?" Carla asked.

"He's out right now from the anesthetic right now," Dr. Wen went on. "And he'll probably be on pain meds for a good while after that, so he's not going to be lucid. For now, you could see him but he won't be awake. The damage to his knee was pretty extensive."

"How bad was it?" Elliot asked.

Dr. Wen gestured them to the light screen and pushed one of the X-rays to it. He flipped the light on.

"Frick," Elliot said softly.

The bone between the upper and lower leg bones looked as if it had imploded halfway.

"His pelvis isn't faring much better," Dr. Wen finished as he flipped the light on. "What's important is that he's stable right now. The biggest problem was the extensive blood loss. One of the bullets nearly hit his carotid. He's lucky as it is that they were just outside of the hospital." He turned the light off and looked at them. "Did the police catch the guy who did it?"

"No," Carla mumbled reluctantly. "Perry brought him in, and by that time, he'd run off."

Dr. Wen nodded. "You can see him, but he's asleep. I'm sorry." He finally left them alone.

Elliot sighed brokenly without bothering to hide her tears. She crumpled into the chair beside of Jordan.

Jordan tapped her nails against her knee. "How's DJ?"

"Not good," Elliot murmured, and felt silly for crying in front of the other woman. "Where's Jack?"

"With my mother." Jordan leaned back in her chair. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"I don't know." Elliot squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears to stop flowing.

Carla led Turk away silently at that point, mostly because Turk had started to cry. She walked with him to the ICU.

Lying in the dark room, Perry woke slowly. The hazy feeling was normal, and he looked around slowly. The stars were still crying. He gave into the need for a good scream and turned his face into the pillow.

Jordan looked around the waiting room with a confused glance. "Where's Perry? I thought he'd be here."

Elliot shook her head as if trying to gather herself and cleared her throat. "I think Carla probably put him down to sleep after that."

Jordan shrugged and pinched the bridge of her nose. She hadn't meant "broken" literally.

XXXXXXX

Perry finally stumbled out of the room Carla had made him lie down in, and looked for her immediately.

He finally spotted Carla's tired face by the nurse's station. "Where is he?"

Carla gestured down the hallway. "He's asleep, Perry. Dr. Wen thinks he'll be okay."

Perry had already taken off down the hallway, glancing into patients' rooms as he went, labeling them in his head as he went.

Tar-lung…fatty…hypochondriac…liver transplant…oh hell, damn it, Newbie…

Pushing the door open quietly, he found Turk sitting by the bed. "Hey, Ghandi. Scoot."

Turk looked up angrily. "Like hell I will."

Perry stared at him hard. "Scoot."

The staring contest was won by no one. Turk finally stood and stopped in front of Perry.

"You and your damn problems, Dr. Cox." Then Turk stalked out of the room.

Closing his eyes tightly at that, Perry sat down beside of the bed. JD looked pale, and an oxygen mask covered his mouth and nose. His eyes were shut, and an IV ran from his arm. A large bandage was covering most of his neck and right shoulder.

"Damn it, Newbie." Perry rubbed his face in his hands, resting his elbows over his knees. "Why did you do that? You knew what he was going to do. Why the hell did you have to take three for me, huh? Why? I'm not worth that. God damn it, it should've been me, not you."

JD didn't respond, and only the beeping of the monitor answered him. Perry found himself listening to the beeps like raindrops all over again.

Beep.

"Of all the stupid things I've seen you do, Newbie…this one takes the cake." Feeling abandoned all over again, Perry sighed. "You just had to do this. Probably get you all the attention from the ladies."

Beep.

Looking behind him carefully, Perry stood and shut the blinds to the room. He scooted the chair closer to the bed and took one of Newbie's pale hands into his own larger, tanned one.

Beep.

"You can't give up, Newbie." Perry stared hard, willing the tears to go away. He'd spent enough time crying in the past month to last him a lifetime. "You promised you wouldn't give up on me if I promised not to either."

Beep.

"I mean it, Newbie. You can't. If you kick it, Newbie…I swear to God, I'll follow you myself just so I can bring you back and kill you all over again."

Beep.

Perry finally fell silent with JD's cold hand in his own. He squeezed the hand lightly and lay his head down on the bed, eyes fixed on JD's face. The beeping became more of a comfort than an annoyance.

Beep.

As long as the beeping continued, JD was still alive. And at this point, Perry didn't care what surgeon said the kid would be okay. The beeping confirmed it, though at this point, Perry had convinced himself that because of that promise, JD wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon.

Beep.

"Damn it," Perry finally swore one last time into the scratchy hospital blanket, and let the tears fall again.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Jordan stared into the room an hour later. Ghandi had lifted the blinds indignantly, but turned away afterwards. Either Perry had grown a set or was off his rocker with drugs again.

Elliot stood beside her quietly. "He does love you."

Jumping slightly, Jordan turned to look at her. "What'd I tell you about it being my business, Blondie?"

"I don't guess threatening with the rape whistle is all that scary now."

"Never was, princess." Jordan stared at Perry, who grasped JD's hand desperately. "I'm deciding how to deal with my ex-husband admitting to himself what we both knew all along."

Elliot shrugged at that. "Are we still talking about Perry?"

Jordan looked at her sharply. "MYOB."

"I'll have to remember that next time." Elliot turned and walked off.

With a sigh, Jordan leaned against the glass. Christ, what a mess. She crossed her arms across her chest, knowing she needed to check in with her mother soon. She wouldn't be able to leave Jack with her all day.

Now Carla showed up at her side. "Jordan, are you okay?"

"It's just DJ," Jordan said with a shrug and finally turned away from the damning scene.

Carla sighed as she stood alone in the hallway. She propped her hands on her hips, leaning her head back and to the side to pop the crick from it. Staring into the cold ICU room, she thought she saw JD's fingers move around Perry's hand.

She shook her head and pulled her hair back into a low ponytail. It had to have been her imagination.

XXXXXXXX

In the morning, Lieutenant Renicki stopped by. He found the temporary attending, a short and round man named Dr. Imus.

"Is Dr. Dorian awake yet?" Lieutenant Renicki asked.

Dr. Imus didn't look up. "He's still out, I'm afraid. And he's not going to exactly be lucid over the next few days, Lieutenant. His friend is in there though; he was there too."

"Dr. Cox?" Lieutenant Renicki asked.

Dr. Imus nodded, scratching his name into things. "That's the one."

Lieutenant Renicki wondered if God would listen when he tried to the two of them sober. He resolutely asked for the room number, and went to find Dr. Cox.

"Dr. Cox?" Lieutenant Renicki asked quietly as he entered the room.

Perry jumped at the sound of his name. His eyes narrowed when he caught sight of the lieutenant. He jerked his head and pointed to the door. They walked outside.

"What the hell do you want?" Perry snapped.

"I need a statement for last night."

"You going to keep him there if you ever find the bastard again? How idiotic do you think this guy is? Do you re-heally think he's actually going to stay in town this time?"

"Be that as it may," Lieutenant Renicki went on. "We still need your statement as Dr. Dorian is indisposed for the next few days."

"God I hate cops," Perry muttered, but folded his hands on top of his head. "Look, we were headed home when the guy…"

"Joshua Andrews?"

"No, the pope," Perry snarled. "Yes, Joshua Andrews. Ass-face snarked out a few remarks, he pulled a gun and put three shots into Dr. John Dorian. That clear enough for you?"

"Did he seem agitated when you saw him?"

Perry felt a familiar tic above his eye that he hadn't felt in some time. "The man is a sociopathic psycho, and you want to know if he was agitated, for Christ's sake! Of course he wasn't!"

"Please calm down, Dr. Cox."

"No, I'm not going to calm down, you tub full of cholesterol. If you had done your job in the first place, none of this would be happening. If you had caught the guy when Newbie had told you where he was at, we wouldn't be here right now, Shirley!"

Lieutenant Renicki curbed his temper. Getting angry back would do nothing.

"If you don't calm down, Dr. Cox, I will have to place you under arrest for a material witness order. I know you don't want to leave your…ah…your friend in there, right?"

"Don't you dare threaten me, Lieutenant Supersize-Me. Josh wasn't agitated, and we didn't see where he went afterwards because I was too busy trying to the only real friend I've got right now into the hospital so they could stop him from bleeding out all over the parking lot!"

Lieutenant Renicki snapped his notepad shut. "We'll be in touch," he said shortly, and left.

Perry's shoulders drooped as he sighed. He walked back into the room where the beeping still sounded.

The beeping kept him sane.

Continues with Chapter 2