My Control

Chapter 13

My Superhero

The rain had slowed by the time they made it back to the apartment. Perry had said nothing on the walk back, and JD had found words were useless as well.

"You ready to get better?" JD asked quietly as they walked into the apartment.

Perry shrugged. "I don't know, Martha." He pulled his soaked jacket off and made for the visitor bathroom to hang it over the tub. "I do know you're dripping all over my carpet though."

JD grimaced. "Yeah, well I can see your footprints leading to the bathroom," he said as if it justified the action of the dripping water.

Perry shrugged as he pulled his shirt off and twisted it over the kitchen sink.

Feeling moronic, JD felt his ears turn pink as he removed his soaked hoodie and hung it up with Perry's jacket.

"You think you're at least ready to talk about it?" the younger doctor asked as he made his way into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

Perry looked at him carefully. "You know, Newbie, I really had begun to wonder if you just dropped of exhaustion from question-asking after your shifts were over at the hospital. Now I know that you must have a malfunction in the verbal portion of your brain that prevents your mouth from being shut for more then a few minutes at a time."

JD rolled his eyes at that, sticking wrinkled palms into his damn jeans. "I was quiet on the entire walk home, you know."

"That doesn't count." Perry twisted the shirt impossibly hard, and JD wondered idly if it'd rip. "You knew on the walk home that if you said a word, I'd have snapped your neck in two."

"Don't doubt it." Wishing he didn't feel so self-conscious, JD pulled both of his shirts off and began wringing them over the sink as well.

"Good god, Snow White. Have you heard of that star that burns really bright?"

"The North Star?"

Perry rolled his eyes. "The sun, Yolanda. Have you met it recently?"

JD looked at his pale skin. "Not all of us have that natural ability to turn into an Indian every summer."

Perry left the room before he said anything else stupid about the kid's skin. His jeans were soaked too, and his feet had begun to go slightly numb at the toes.

JD squeezed his two shirts out. He sighed and pushed a hand through his wet hair. It was feeling rather slimy by now from the rain mixing with his hair gel. He grimaced. It was time for a shower then.

Walking into the bathroom, JD moved Perry's jacket and his hoodie to the sink and started the hot water. It already felt great against his cool skin.

Perry heard the shower starting from the next room as he stripped from his own clothes and changed into a sweat shirt and jeans. He looked at his door thoughtfully for a moment.

Then he shook his head and entered his own bathroom to drag a comb through the tangled mop of curls on his head. He really needed a trim.

Remembering then that he'd hung his jacket up over the tub that JD was currently showering in, Perry grimaced and rolled his eyes.

Walking into the hallway, he knocked on the door hard. "Hey, Newbie, I hope you remembered…"

His voice stopped short as the door swung open. He quickly slammed it shut and groaned.

This was the last thing he needed right now. Rubbing the heel of his hand over his eyes, he walked back to his own bedroom and locked the door.

He needn't have worried. JD was singing loud enough to wake the dead.

XXXXXXXXXX

JD held the sides of his stethoscope as he watched his patient through the window. The patient wasn't doing well by most standards, but it seemed to be a problem of her own making.

It was the kind of patient any doctor hated, and exactly the kind Perry would have had a blast telling off.

"Hey, Bambi," Carla said by his side.

"What's up?" JD asked absently.

"How's Perry?" she asked without preamble.

JD raised an eyebrow and turned away from the patient. "I'm fine, you know. I'm so glad you asked me how I was doing."

Carla whacked him on the shoulder. "Bambi!"

"I think he's going to be okay," JD said after a moment. "Nervous as hell about that guy being out, but other then that, I think he's going to be fine."

"Is he still…you know…doing that other thing?"

For a nurse of her expertise, Carla wasn't sure she wanted to think of Dr. Cox as having problems like that. She sighed and berated herself mentally.

"Is he still using?" she finally asked.

JD sighed as he looked over the chart in front of him. 22-year-old female presenting with wheezing. Past history indicates asthma and chronic bronchitis; showing early signs of emphysema and Type II Diabetes. Won't quit smoking.

"Bambi, are you listening?" Carla asked, jabbing him again sharply.

JD winced. "Since when do girls hit so hard?" He rubbed his arm as he signed for a nebulizer treatment.

"Is he?"

Looking up and down the hallway, JD decided it was safe and leaned in closer. "Yes, alright?"

"Why aren't you trying to get him to stop?"

"Because I can't want it for him," he replied with a sigh. "You know that as well as I do."

Carla sighed, memories of self-destructive patients running through her head. "I know. It just seems like…I don't know, Bambi. Shouldn't we at least try?"

"He's not really in the mood to listen to pep speeches. Last time I tried…" JD pointed to his black eye. "Let me tell you how much fun Janitor's having with this."

Carla snickered despite herself. "It is funny."

"Yeah, well let me know how you like it if Perry ever whacks you across the face." JD picked up the chart and left to try and beat some sense into the future lung-cancer patient.

Carla cocked her head to the side. "Interesting, Bambi." She picked up a chart of her own and went to find Elliot.

JD entered the patient's room. The patient was way too young to already be throwing her life away. JD shoved the parallel away in his head.

She's not Perry.

"Alrighty, Ms. Patterson," JD said. "I've got a nebulizer treatment scheduled for you, and that should take care of your more pressing problems."

"Yeah, I know the drill." She looked somewhat deflated and didn't take her eyes from her crossword book. "And now I'm going to guess that after that, you'll put me on a couple of inhalers, a steroid by mouth, and an antibiotic."

"For someone who knows so much about what's wrong with them, you seem to be doing very little to help yourself out."

She looked up at that witheringly. "Look, doc. I'm just trying to stay alive. Can you just give me the treatment?"

JD sighed. What was it with stubborn people who wanted to kill themselves lately?

XXXXXX

Perry wasn't sure what he was looking for when he walked into the hospital. He'd known when he left that he didn't feel like being alone after JD had left for work, and his feet had taken him here.

When he ran into Jordan, his stomach proceeded to wring itself into a ball. "Hi, Jordan," he finally said.

Jordan flicked her gaze to his from her paperwork. "You're talking to me now then?"

Perry only gave her a slightly tired look.

"Jack misses you," Jordan finally said and turned her head back down.

"Maybe you can bring him by soon," Perry said, crossing his arms over his chest. He rapped on his cast.

"I bet that thing's driving you nuts," Jordan said after a moment with a smile.

"I bet that idea just makes your day too," he replied.

"You bet your sweet ass it does," she said and finally looked up. "How are you?"

Perry rolled his good shoulder. "Not good."

"Always the honest one." Jordan stacked her papers. "I'll bring Jack by for a visit tomorrow if you want. I'll leave him with JD."

"No good, Newbie's working a double tomorrow."

Jordan ignored the small stab of hurt that she would, as previously thought, begin to have to work her schedule around DJ's.

"I'll talk it over with JD. He'll let you know," Jordan finally decided on saying. "He's not doing a very good job of making you better."

Perry looked at her sharply. "That's because it's not his job; it's mine, Dragon-Lady."

"Then you're not doing a very good job."

"Jordan, I re-heally don't need this from you."

"Someone has to give it to you. Baby Spice upstairs doesn't have the balls to do it."

"Leave him out of this. He's doing the best he can."

"Why don't you marry him if he's doing the best he can then?" Jordan replied with a roll of her eyes. She closed her folder and walked off, heels clacking sharply on the tiles.

Perry rolled his eyes. He didn't know what he was doing in the hospital, but it certainly hadn't been to listen to that.

Jordan walked outside, rubbing one side of her head to will the headache away. The rustling sound to her right made her jump.

"You can come out, Blondie, I don't bite that hard."

Elliot fell out of the bushes and over the railing. "Could've fooled me."

"Come on, you can cover that mark up."

"With ugly out-of-date turtlenecks that I had to borrow from Turk!"

Jordan smirked at the puke-green turtleneck that Elliot wore under her lab coat. "Tell me someone's gotten a picture of you in that thing."

"Of course not! I wouldn't dare…"

The flash of a camera drew her from her thoughts and she glared at Turk.

"Turk!" Elliot took after the surgeon, who was waving the polaroid in one hand and struggling to keep a hold of his camera with the other.

Jordan smirked and walked to her car with a satisfied smile on her face.

XXXXXXX

Perry stepped off the elevator and immediately spotted Carla by the nurse's desk. He walked over to it casually and leaned against it. Carla didn't look up.

"You keeping that jock-strap of a husband of yours in line?" he asked.

Carla yelped and jumped. "Perry!" She made to hug him but stopped short.

"Christ, Carla, I won't break."

Carla threw her arms around him. "How are you? JD won't tell us anything about what's going on."

Perry shrugged as she hugged his shoulder a bit too tightly. "I can tell you that you're going to dislocate my shoulder again if you don't ease up just a tad."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Carla backed off, putting her chart down. "But seriously, how are you?"

Thinking of how he blew Jordan off, he debated using the same answer. He finally decided against it.

"I'm still here." Perry pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

"So, you here to see Bambi?"

Perry frowned. "No, why would you think that?"

Carla raised an eyebrow at him. "Want to get a cup of coffee?"

"Sure."

They walked to the coffee station and Carla made two cups. "It probably tastes like acid…"

"It's probably better then whatever black goop Newbie makes," Perry replied, wincing as the bitter liquid ran down his throat. He noticed Carla's look then. "Don't give me that look, missy."

Carla shrugged. "You two just seem to be really close lately."

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

The nurse snorted into her cup. "That would be a first, Perry. Walk with me, I have patients to check on."

Their conversation drifted to small talk as they walked down until they heard a mini-tirade going on in a patient's room.

Somewhat interested, Perry inclined his head to catch the end of a pep-rant that JD was spitting at a young, red-headed woman in the bed.

"Well, I'll tell ya what, Ms. Patterson. If you want to play your cards and try and luck away from lung cancer, be my guest. We'll see you next year." JD shoved the chart on the end of the bed and left the stricken patient alone.

"Bravo, Newbie," Perry said outside the room when JD had closed the door. "Where'd you pick up your wonderful bedside manner?"

JD shot him a look. "You hang around assholes long enough, you pick up their mannerisms."

"Burn," Carla laughed. "Maybe scare that woman into throwing the pack away."

"What are you doing here? Kelso put you on extended leave," JD asked.

Perry shrugged as he, Carla, and JD walked further down the hall. "I've been in that apartment for weeks."

JD noted the slight redness around Perry's eyes, and grumbled in his head. Some people were just made to abuse drugs and alcohol.

"Hang out in the lounge room or something then. You're not working. You should be at home, resting."

"Who made you my keeper, Newbie? Last time I checked, I could take a walk and visit the hospital if I wanted. How do you know I'm not visiting my dear old granny?"

"Because if you were, you'd be visiting her and not bugging people who are working."

"Is that what you're calling it now, Queenie? Funny, last time I checked it was called "walking around trying to look like you're doing something". But I could be wrong."

JD rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to dignify that with a response." He disappeared into a patient's room.

Carla smothered her giggles as best as she could and walked Perry to the lounge room.

"God, you two argue like a married couple. Here I thought living with Bambi would make you hit him." She snapped her fingers. "I guess you got past that stage."

"Carla, drop it."

Sitting down beside him on the lumpy couch, Carla set the chart in her lap and polished off her coffee.

"Have you thought about rehab yet?" she asked carefully.

"You are a top-notch conversationalist today, aren't you?" Perry asked irritably.

"We're just worried about you, Perry. We just want you to get better."

Perry laughed bitterly at that. "I know." Some part of him agreed with her. Another part argued that he'd do it in his own time.

Carla sighed. "I've got patients."

"I know. I'll see you around."

She stood and left the room.

Perry looked around the room, wondering when the lounge room had become so suffocating and small. He supposed it could bear a fairly strong resemblance to the on-call room.

But even now, that first meeting with Josh hadn't been as alarming as the following days.

Crossing his arms over his head, Perry craned his neck back and sighed harder. When he removed his arms, JD's face was above his own and looking decidedly not happy.

"You really should be at home. You know that, right?"

Perry jumped. "God damn it, Newbie. Don't do that."

"Sneaky sneaky." JD rounded the couch and sat beside him to flip the TV on.

"Just because I should be at home doesn't mean that I will be. I felt like getting out."

"I don't know what would possess you to come here." JD flipped through the channels and turned it off as he stood.

"It was where I ended up."

JD looked at him. "Funny, sometimes I think the same thing." He left the room.

Perry sighed at that, but still left the lounge room later to grab something from the cafeteria. On his way though, he couldn't help but agreeing with JD in his head.

XXXXXXX

It was an hour later when JD punched his time card and grabbed his backpack from his locker. He was tired as it was, and he had a double in the morning. It was going to be a long couple of days.

Perry was still chatting it up with Carla when JD headed for the elevator.

"God, you must really have been going crazy," JD muttered as he stopped to talk as well.

"You spend an inordinate amount of time in one place and see how well you're faring, Jane."

Carla snickered behind her hand again. "We'll see you tomorrow, JD."

Perry waved to Carla and headed for the elevator with JD. "Hey, you're the one who said I should give her a call."

"I meant with the telephone. Are you really that ancient that you believe calling someone means visiting them?"

"And you're so very young yourself, grasshopper."

"You just shouldn't come here when you're doped up on God knows what."

Perry bristled at that. "I'm fine though, Patricia."

JD didn't answer that until they were outside and near his scooter. "You're not fine, you're high as a kite!"

"Could you tell by the way I was talking or acting, genius?"

"Your eyes are red, and you're already starting to shake from withdrawal," JD snapped.

"You've been avoiding this topic for a while, Newbie. I would think you'd keep right on doing that."

"You can't do this forever and you know it!"

"I'll damn well do what I want to!"

"Arguing like a old couple already, are we?"

Perry's face froze and JD whirled around.

"You're not supposed to be near him," JD snarled at Josh, who stood casually behind them, hands in his pockets.

"You're cute when you're trying to be angry you know," Josh said amusingly. "You know, Newbie, this really doesn't have anything to do with you in the first place."

"Don't call him that," Perry growled. "Or is there another facial bone you want me to break?"

Josh touched his nose. "You see, butterfly, that was just stupid."

JD already had his cell phone out to call the police.

"Why's that? Because now you know that I really can kick your ass?" Perry bit out.

Josh raised an eyebrow. "No. Of course not." He slipped his hands from his pockets, revealing a handgun in one of them.

JD dropped his phone as Josh pointed the gun at Perry.

"No, because now I really don't have any use for a butterfly with wings that grow back and betray me."

The three shots rang through the air like thunder, and time slowed down. JD's shocked face went white, and Perry fought the urge to vomit as his stomach twisted horribly.

Josh's smile fell off to be replaced with a calmly angry look. "Don't mess with the real men, Perry. I'm much better at it then you'll ever be." The smile back in place, Josh turned and headed out of the parking lot.

The stars cried black tears and the lights went out.

XXXXXXXXFINITOXXXXXXX