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China Fair The question was not whether I could believe that Jordan was for real, but whether I could convince myself that she wasn’t. Every time I woke up expecting her to be there, curled up on her side of the bed, and every time she had left sometime during the night. There were no dinners, no movies, no lunches, no dates. Just sex. And the worst part was my complete inability to break it off. I knew it was killing me, slowly but surely burning away any semblance of sanity I managed to hang on to. Burning was the right word, oh yes. The late nights, Jordan showing up at my apartment with no warning. Stroking hands, gasping breath, nail marks that stayed for days, if not weeks. The one moment that made it all worthwhile when Jordan stopped breathing, her eyes widened, her head fell back and she moaned so quietly I could barely hear it. Of course I did, every time. But then it would be over and she’d disappear into the bathroom, mumbling something about needing to clean up. Some nights she’d come back to bed, but mostly she’d just leave, barely acknowledging that I was there. Any attempts to make her stay would only result in a fight, followed by silent treatment which could stretch out for weeks. But she’d always come back, eventually. And that was something. That was all I had. Why is she alone? Just look me in the eye You owe me another night You owe me another lie Her girlfriend’s on the phone “I’ll say it one more time” My phone is running out of minutes Out of power, out of patience, out of time Get off the line, get off the line! You sold her empty hearts Let her fill it up, poured it out, and left her in the Square Stacks of bowls and things for holding Nothing to put inside Oh, my pride, you gave her China Fair You sold her the lie of adventure Love and passion twenty four hours a day Then came the day Where she saw through the wall of lies you hid behind You sold her empty hearts Let her fill it up, poured it out, and left her in the Square Stacks of bowls and things for holding Nothing to put inside Oh, my pride, you gave her China Fair You sold her empty hearts Let her fill it up, poured it out, and left her in the Square Stacks of bowls and things for holding Nothing to put inside Oh, my pride, you gave her China Fair |
China Fairby Nicole Merrill |
